I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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