Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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