forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
