i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize