I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
