I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
