im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
