Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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