his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
