he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
