Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
