Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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