ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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