how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
