dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
