You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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