MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize