I like my sex mixed with concussions.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
