My room smells like vodka and shame
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
