She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
