Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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