why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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