Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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