I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
