She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
