so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
