I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
