i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
