What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I bet he comes in French.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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