He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
