I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
