the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
