Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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