Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
