One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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