More tranny stories later!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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