Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize