I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
