I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
