I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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