Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Also, beer. Big fan.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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