I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
