In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize