peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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