It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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