paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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