Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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