So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
