Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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