No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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