I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
