I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
