If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
