Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
