did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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