Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
