how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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