Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
