I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i love accidental penises.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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