You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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