I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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